


You will never be alone.

by moonflowcr



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Grief/Mourning, Light Angst, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 10:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30121080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonflowcr/pseuds/moonflowcr
Summary: Carina is dealing with her brother's death and Maya doesn't know how to help her.
Relationships: Maya Bishop & Carina DeLuca, Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Comments: 1
Kudos: 68





	You will never be alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if there are any mistakes, English is not my first language <3

She looked empty, soulless, as if a ghost had entered her body and sucked out every drop of her essence. Her beautiful brown eyes were full of pain, a pain that had been building up since her birth until that very moment. That was the cherry on top, it was what was needed to break the mask of strength she had forged over the years and make her fall from the tallest building. Her bright smile, which everyone used to admire, seemed to have been stolen by the greatest thief: life itself. Carina was a different person than the woman Maya met months ago in the bar they used to go to forget about their problems. That woman was the rock in everyone’s life and never let anyone see how much her heart was aching and how close she was to being broken forever. However, she had been sitting in the same place of the room for days, without even holding back the tears that flowed like rivers down her pale cheeks and her heart full of anger and guilt. She felt confused and had many thoughts going back and forth in her mind, but she was sure of one thing: her mom was right. Since they have told her Andrew was dead, there was a feeling in her chest that didn’t let her breathe, as if the air she was taking in wasn’t enough for her lungs. She just wanted to scream and cry until her brother was back and hug him as tightly as she could, to make sure he didn’t leave again, but she knew it wasn’t possible. She would never have her stupid little brother back. Her other half was gone forever.

Maya went to the room every few minutes, looked at her, and asked her if she needed anything, but left when she didn’t get any answer. She didn’t know what to do, because she had never lost anyone in her life. She knew Mason was fine, even if they never talked, and also knew her mom was okay, even if she was still mad at her for never protecting her. And when her life seemed to be falling off a cliff, Carina was by her side and always had the correct words to help her, even when she didn’t listen to her and tried to push her away. Carina knew how to comfort people and what to do when her loved ones weren’t in a good place, cause it was something she always had to do with her dad, her brother, and everyone else. She was the one who needed help now, but Maya felt really useless. 

“Carina.” She tried to get the woman’s attention once again, sat down next to her, and wiped away the tears that were still falling down the Italian's face. “Please, talk to me.”

“Leave me alone, Maya.” Carina said and the tone of her voice was cold.

“Just tell me what can I do to help you, yell at me if you want, but don’t hide what you are feeling”

Carina laughed, but it wasn’t one of those warm laughs that Maya loved so much, it was sarcastic and bitter.

“Who the hell do you think you are, Maya? You, of all people, are asking me to not hide my feelings, what kind of bad joke is this?” She shouted, but her girlfriend felt it more like a slap in the face.

“I- I know you are mad.” Maya started talking. “And I know that I’m the last person who can ask you to do that, but you’re aware of the harm it will cause you, love. You are not like me, not at all, and you can’t let your own feelings drown you, as you saw I did.”

“You make it sound easier than it is.” Carina exclaimed, letting a sigh leave her lungs. Maya took one of Carina's hands and gently stroked it with her thumb.

“It is not easy, and I get this… your brother’s death is something that will always hurt. But there are burdens that are more bearable if you have company, don't you think?”

A couple of minutes later, tears made their way down the Italian's face again and she started talking, cause Maya was right, she couldn't hide everything until her own feelings destroyed her.

“It was all my fault. I knew it was dangerous but I didn't stop him. I let him follow her, knowing how stupid and risky it was, and now he is dead.” She talked desperately, sobbing. “My brother is dead and I feel like a part of me is missing, we were two parts of one whole. Every time I close my eyes I see him lying on the floor, covered in blood and I can't help thinking about the life he wanted to have, his dreams, and all the promises he had made. I didn’t even get to say goodbye or tell him how much I love him, and he couldn't have a decent funeral because of this stupid pandemic. I feel like my whole life has been one bad thing after another, but at least I had him, no matter how much we argued or how far apart we were... and I'm so tired…” 

Maya listened to every word, and everything she said hurt her as if it were her own pain. As soon as Carina stopped talking, Maya hugged her as tight as she could and Carina cried so hard that her body felt like she had just run a marathon.

"Everything is going to be okay." Maya pulled away a little so she could wipe away Carina's tears.

"How?" she asked.

"I don't know." Maya said sincerely, kissing her girlfriend's head tenderly. "But you're not alone and you never will be, I promise."

Carina was able to sleep better that night, in Maya's arms. There was still a lot she was holding onto, and the wound was still a long way from healing, but the pain in her chest eased a little when Maya was by her side.


End file.
